


Only Lovers Left in London

by yellow_sweater



Category: Only Lovers Left Alive (2013), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:11:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellow_sweater/pseuds/yellow_sweater
Summary: Renee is a young, aspiring writer in London who is just trying to live her best life. When a dinner reservation goes wrong, Renee finds finds herself sharing a table with none other than Tom Hiddleston. Unsure of herself and him, a relationship begins to bloom in London. But not all is well, there's a dark figure in her past and Renee isn't sure who to trust.





	1. An Inopportune Date

**Renee**

“You’re going to be late!” Nicole shouts from across the apartment. She’s right, of course, but I have to finish this chapter.

“I only have a couple more pages to go. It’ll be fine.”

“Reneeeeeeeeee.” I don’t respond. “Alright, well don’t blame me when you miss your reservation at one of the nicest restaurants London has to offer. I’m not going to feel the least bit sorry for you. Your grandma, however…”

“Ugh.” She’s right again. I’ve been planning this dinner for months and I would be a fool to throw it away. It is my grandma’s 70th birthday, and she had come all the way from Virginia to see me and to go to this restaurant. I look at the pages on the computer screen, type out a few bullet points and close the laptop. “Alright, I’m ready.”

Nicole walks into my room and looks at me. “Oh no, you aren’t going dressed like that.”

“Why not? She’s my grandma, not my boyfriend.”

“Yes, but this is The Regent. You can’t go in dungarees and a cardigan.”

“So?”

“Oh my God, if you aren’t going to appreciate it then let me take your grandma to dinner. This place is the epitome of class. Celebrities eat there.”

I sigh and open my closet door. I pull out a short black dress with some white pearls on the collar. Simple and elegant.  
Apparently, Nicole didn’t think so.

“UGH, Renee. Let me see what I have in my closet. See if you can be salvaged.” She pulls out a warm yellow, A-line dress. Here, put this on.”

I grunt, but change into it. Turning to my closet mirror I find myself a little bit stunned. The dress falls just below my knees and although the neckline dips a bit too low for my liking...it is beautiful.

“Wow, Renee, that color looks great on you.”

I blush a bit. The yellow does pairs well with my skin, making me almost glow. I make poses and she laughs.

“Alright. What shoes do you have?” I hold up a pair of white open toed heels.“Yeah those will do.” For once, agreeing with me.

“Now I really have to go!” I quickly slide the heels on. “My grandma is probably about to call the police wondering where I am.” I grab my brown leather bag and head for the door.

“Bye! Have fun! Bring back leftovers!” On the tube I get a couple of stares and one cheeky wink.

**Tom**

Stepping out of the car I spot Ben and Sophie walking into the entrance. As I approach them, giving Sophie a kiss on the cheek and shake the hand of my old friend. “Sophie, you look beautiful as always. Ben.”

“Tom, you were supposed to bring a date.”

I shrug, “I forgot.”

“Bullshit. What about that pop singer?”

“Oh that was just a stunt. And a bit of fun. But nothing more.”

“Well, I can’t say I’m not relieved…”

“It doesn’t matter much anyway. We haven’t seen each other in ages and I didn’t want anyone to distract me as you tell us about your last adventure.” I tell him.

“Oh yes! Tom, there is so much to tell…” Sophie begins.

We begin to move to the front of the restaurant as Sophie excitedly tells me about their time in Bora Bora. I chuckle along as she bubbles. The host of the Regent nods at us and immediately seats us in our usual spot by the windows.

“And then Ben spilt the orange juice all over the masseuse!” We laugh with Sophie.

“Hey, it was dark!” Ben tries to interject.

“Sounds like classic Cumberbatch.” I jest.

“Oh piss off.”

“It’s true, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Sophie looks fondly at Ben, and he her. I watch them share a moment of love between them. My heart twinges a bit. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat jealous of their romance. Being ~Tom Hiddleston~ gives me many options in partners...but so many of them are just surface deep. The random trysts here and there are good fun, but after a while, I find myself wanting someone to come home to, to watch bad movies with, to laugh with over my own mistakes. Suddenly I feel...lonely.

As the waiter comes over to fill our glasses of water, Sophie’s phone rings. “I have to take this…Hello?...What?...No, of course not...Oh my god!” She turns to Ben, “It’s my sister, she’s gone into labor. I’m sorry Tom, we simply must go,” she stands hurriedly pulling Ben away by the hand.

“Oh wow,” I respond, wide eyed, “do you need a ride?”

“Um,” says Sophie dialing her phone, clearly frazzled “no, I think Jared shouldn’t be too far away--” her face drops as I can faintly hear the voicemail.

“Voicemail?” Ben exclaims, “Who--”

“Don’t worry about it,” I quickly cut in. “My driver is still here. Here, let me text him.” As I pull out my phone we quickly walk to the entrance of the restaurant. Shortly I see Phillip pull up. He hops out.

“Phillip, will you kindly take Ben and Sophie to the hospital? Her sister is in labor.”

With raised eyebrows he swiftly opens the backseat door for them, “Yes, right away.”

Sophie hops in while Ben quickly turns to me. “Thank you so much Tom--are you going to come along?”

“Don’t worry about it, I think I’ll stay behind to explain to the waiters about our sudden departure.” I peer into the car at Sophie. “Tell your sister good luck--and congratulations!”

Red faced, Sophie nods. I pat Ben on the shoulder as he enters the car, close the door and wave goodbye as Phillip drives away.

I take a deep breath as I watch the car turn the corner. I check my watch. 7:10. Well, I have nowhere to be. Might as well have dinner. I turn back towards The Regent, and head inside.

I pass by an older woman sitting in the longue. She seems rather concerned. We make eye contact for a moment and I smile and the one she returns is warm. I continue walking when I hear what seems to be an argument. I slow down. At the host’s podium is a young woman in a yellow dress speaking with the host. The conversation is hushed, but clearly tense.

“Are you sure?” The young woman desperately asks.

The host sighs and looks down at his list. “Once again, I do not see a Louis.”

“But there must be a mistake. I made this reservation two months ago for my grandmother’s visit--she’s never been to Europe before and so I wanted to make it special. I emailed and was assured of a reservation of May 7th.”

The host clearly did not seem to care for this woman’s backstory. But I think I heard the problem.

“Excuse me,” the young woman whips toward me, startled. “I couldn’t help overhearing, but I think I know the issue.”

**Renee**

I look at this man, who’s looking at me. He’s tall with dark hair. He’s wearing a casual suit that fits him nicely. And he looks familiar.

“Mr. Hiddleston!” I jump as the host exclaims. “I’m so sorry to disturb you, this young woman is just leaving.” The nasty host narrows his eyes at me.

My mouth drops in shock. “I am not--”

“It’s no problem.” The man quickly interjects. “But, miss,” I look back at him. “You said your reservation was for May 7th?”

He looks at me with such earnestness. Who is he? Why does he care? Unsure of what he wants I press my lips together. Nonetheless, I answer “ Yes, May 7th.”  
“Did you make that date in the American format?”

My eyes widen and I can feel blood rush to my cheeks. How could I be so stupid! I look at the ground before squeezing my eyes shut in pure embarrassment. I’ll have to tell my grandmother I was an idiot and made the reservation for July Fifth. I know she’ll be understanding, but I really wanted to give her the best.  
I take a breath and open my eyes. The man is still looking at me, but even more concerned now. I try not to cry. “Um, thank you. If you’ll excuse me I need to go let my grandmother know I made a mistake.” I give a look to the host who looks pretty damn smug right now. Even though he was right he could have been more understanding. Asshole.

As I turn away I hear the man.

“Wait,” I look back at him. “Actually, well, I, um…”

I wait for him to finish his sentence. His cheeks have turned a shade of pink. Is he embarrassed? Of what? What’s happening?  
I then feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn to look at my grandmother. “Is there still a problem, Renee?”

“Oh, grandma, well--”

“Actually,” the man interrupts, again. “The restaurant seems to have made a mistake with your reservation. But it also happens that my dinner guests had to leave. So, I was just offering Renee here, for you two to take my reservation.”

My jaw drops. Isn’t today full of surprises. The man looks at me kindly.

“Why, isn’t that very kind of you!” My grandma responds. “But we don’t want to take away from your dinner.”

“Oh no, I insist, sincerely. I’ve been before and Renee was just saying this is your first time. You must eat here for the optimal London experience.”

My grandma lights up. “Well if you insist.”

“Um, grandma…” I try to speak up, my voice is barely audible.

She looks at me, and then at the man, her eyes gleaming. “But I still say you shouldn’t be taken from your dinner. How about we join you, young man?”

For a moment he looks taken aback before quickly recovering. “Well, I could never say no to dinner with two beautiful women.”

My grandma actually giggles, like a damn school girl. “Aren’t you charming, Mr…”

“Oh yes, I’m Tom.” He extends his hand out to my grandmother.

“Grace.”

“Of course.” He winks. My grandma giggles, again. “Well, just follow me. James, these two women will be dining with me tonight.”

**Tom**

Offering my arm to Grace, I wink at Renee. She smiles like someone trying not to, and it’s so charming I grin back.

“What are you lovely American women doing all the way out in London?”

“It’s my grandmother’s birthday,” Grace shushes her.

“And you’ll be turning twenty-five?” I ask her straight and she swats my arm.

“Flatterer!” I pull out her chair and help her settle in before turning to help Renee with her seat, but she has already seated herself. Instead I pass her a menu.

“It seems that you know who I am and what I do, Miss. So who are you?”

“Me? Oh I’m a nobody.” Renee winces. “And thanks again for letting us sit with you. I could have died, I was so embarrassed.”

“It’s no trouble.” I look her over again admiring the lively curls in her hair and her crisply lined lipstick. She was rather stunning for a nobody. Glancing at her hand, I see no engagement ring, no wedding band. Of course she could be queer or asexual. Or, also, not at all interested in me. It was so juvenile for me to think this way. Just then she caught my eye briefly and put her menu up in front of her as though to prevent my prying, “Though I must ask how you are enjoying my city.”

“Oh it’s wonderful. Renee has been showing me so many beautiful things. She took me around to all the monuments yesterday and we took pictures with each one. Do you want to see?”

“Grandma, no.”

“Grace, yes,” I add. She scoots her chair closer to mine and begins swiping through an album’s worth of photos. There we scores of pictures of the two of them posing and pouting all over the city, “And which has been your favorite so far?”

“Well, it’s not a monument, but I really enjoyed going round to all the shops--especially Renee’s bookstore.”

“You own a bookstore?”

“No, I just work at one over on Fleet Street,” Renee says.

I hadn’t been down that way in years. “Maybe I could stop by?”

Renee kicks me under the table.

I give her a questioning look. “Or not.”

“Did I hit you just now? Please say no.”

“No.”

“Oh thank God.”

I chuckle. “If you two are celebrating, would you mind if I ordered us some champagne?”

“If you insist!” Grace hadn’t moved her chair back since showing me the photos and I rested my hand over her chair.

After the waiter poured our glasses I propose a toast, “To Grace in the big city!”

“To Grandma!” Grace says humorously.

Renee raises her glass and if I’m not mistaken, her shoulders relax a bit.

Grace swallows her glass in one gulp and lets out a refreshed “ah.”

“Grandma!” Renee whispers in horror.

But I laugh as Grace responds “Oh shush Renee, it's my 70th birthday! About time I loosen up!”

“And I do admire it,” I add as I refill her glass.

Grace takes another sip as the waiter comes back and takes our orders. Afterwards Grace stands up, “If you’ll excuse me, I need to use the ladies room.”  
Renee moves to stand, “Do you need me to come with you?”

“Renee, let me have some dignity!” But Grace winks at her. Renee frowns but sits back down.

As Grace leaves I look at Renee. She is looking intensely at her champagne glass. It gives me a moment to really look at her.

All of a sudden she looks straight at me, eyes piercing mine. “So do you do this often?”

I raise my eyebrows. “Do what?”

She gestures to the table. “Invite American women and their grandmothers to dinner--last minute, I should add?”

I chuckle. “Uh, no, at least not usually.”

She smirks. “It fits the persona you've been going for.”

I narrow my eyes a bit. What does she mean? “My persona?”

She clenches her jaw. “Well-- never mind.”

“No, please explain.”

She looks down, and parts her lips. “It's just--you know, your Tom Hiddleston, America’s favorite British boyfriend. Loves his “cuppa” tea and reads Shakespeare by the fire. Always charming and selfless. Always on for the camera?”

“You don't feel my actions are genuine?”

She twists her napkin in her hands. “No. Yes. Well--”

“How are you two lovebirds getting along?” Grace sits beside me.

“Swimmingly.” I turn up the corners of my mouth.

**Renee**

“Good, I’d hoped Renee might warm up to you. You’re such a nice young man.”

I look down. God I'm so embarrassed. Did I really say all that to his face? I meant it as a joke--mostly--but, shit.

Tom takes a sip of his champagne. “So how do you usually spend your birthdays Grace?”

“Oh I usually spend them making bowls and cups and vases.”

“You’re a glass blower?”

“No, nothing so fancy as that. I’m a potter. I’ve been making crockery since the 80s. I love it. The throwing wheel, pinch pots, coil pots, slab boxes, you name it. There’s something so grounding working with earth and water. Working with things that can be made and remade. Beautiful, useful things.”

“She's really good.” I add.

“Oh Renee.”

“I mean it, it's stunning really.”

“I believe it.” Tom chimes in. “Do you have a portfolio?”

“Oh yes! The website, Renee helped me make it. Pull it up!”

I pull out my phone, type in the site and hand it to Tom. I watch him closely as he flipped through the pictures. I watched for any sign of disingenuous behavior. But why? Who cares if he's faking it? He was still kind enough to invite us for dinner. I try to force myself to relax.

“These are incredible--how long does a piece like this take?”

I continue to watch Tom interact with my grandma as she explains to him her work process. He nods and asks questions at the appropriate moments. Even his awe seems genuine. Ok, if he is just faking it, then he is a good actor. Well, duh.

“What about this piece?”

“Oh, Renee was the inspiration for that one. She's my pride and joy. Stunning, and formidable. So much drive to her.”

I feel myself blush as Tom looks more closely at the picture of the clay figure grandma is talking about. It's a lantern. His eyes slide up to mine and he looks at me curiously. “Yes, all that shines through.”

I look out the window, blushing even more.

“Yes well enough about me--tells us about you Tom!

“Oh well. Beyond acting I just enjoy drinking a cuppa tea, and reading Shakespeare by the fire.” Tom winks at me. My God, when will this dinner end. The food isn't even here.

Eventually the food does come, and it’s delicious.

After we nearly finish our meals, Tom asks, “So when do you leave? Have you seen everything you meant to?”

“We wanted to see the Shard,” Grace tells him, “but the lines were too long.”

“I could help with that.”

“How could you?” I ask.

“I don’t know if you know this,” Tom leans in conspiratorially, “But I’m kind of a big deal around here.”

Grace raises her eyebrows and I laugh. “Oh really?”

“Mhm. Huge. And I believe I could take you to the Shard--tonight even.”

“What do you mean?,” I say looking at Grandma.

“Just what I said,” pulling out his phone. “Care for a private tour?”  
…

A sea of shimmering lights stretches out out before me. I press my hands against the glass, completely awestruck.

“Incredible,” I hear my grandmother whisper.

“Yeah…” I gaze out at the London bridge. While it is a formidable structure at ground--or sea--level, from above there’s a different kind of beauty to it. It almost looks like the bridge to a fairy tale land. I wonder if the architects designed it with a bird’s eye view in mind, or even ever imagined that it would be seen from such height.

“Isn’t the bridge beautiful from this angle?” I hear Tom say. My heart skips a beat. I look over at him and he’s looking at me. I remind myself that he must have seen this view many times before to tear his eyes away from this glittering city--and it’s not because this moment feels incredibly romantic. But our eyes lock. Such a gentle blue, framed by such sad looking eyebrows. I feel my heart in my ears. I wonder what he thinks of my eyes, my typical brown. Snap out of it, Renee! I blink hard and look at Tom again. God, this looks like the part he’d want to play. I close my eyes, frustrated at myself for feeling so caught up.

He cocks his head, confused. “You don’t think so?”

Oh right, he asked me a question. Dumbass. “No--yes--I do, I was just thinking--nothing.” I try to smile to patch that up. I don’t think it worked too well because he still looks puzzled.

“Well, Tom, I can’t say this wasn’t an eventful evening!” My Grandma approaches us. “This has been one of my best birthdays yet!”

I finally compose myself. “Yes, seriously Tom, thank you.”

“Of course,” he says as he looks at me again. “It was my pleasure.”

Aaaaand composure gone. My cheeks flush. I’m reeling again.

“I--” My throat is shut. I try again. “I think we should go soon. Grandma has an early flight tomorrow.”

Grandma yawns. “Oh, but I don’t want to go yet.”

“I could give you a ride home.” He says as we start towards the elevator.

“No, you’ve already done too much.” Surely he’s just being polite. “You’ve been wonderful to us.” I tell him before stepping inside. Grandma gives me a long look.

“Well, maybe if you don’t mind.”  
...

Thankfully Grandma is more cooperative once we get in the car and we drop her off.

I get out to hug her goodbye. “I'll see you in the morning--unless, maybe I should just stay the night?”

“Oh no, don’t worry about me.” Grandma pinches my cheek. “I want you to have some alone time.”  
“Grandma!”

But she only laughs. “See you in the morning!”

I shake my head and get back in the car. But now that Grandma is gone, the conversation dries up. I don’t know what to say. I stare pointedly out the window hating myself for not making more of the moment. But Tom doesn’t speak either so maybe it’s okay. Maybe after tonight we can get back to our normal lives. The car pulls up to my place and I take a short breath to thank him.

“Um, Renee.”

I turn towards him. The bashful look is back again, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t make my heart squeeze. “Yes?”

He clears his throat. “I was wondering if you would like to have dinner, together some time?”

What? “What?”

“Oh, if you aren’t interested I completely understand--”

Renee, close your jaw! Then speak! “NO! I mean, yes, I. Um. I’m free Wednesday?”

He beams. “Wednesday sounds perfect.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Tom**

Once I close the door, I find myself grinning like an idiot. I look at my phone to put the date in my calendar, but I see I have a missed call from Ben. My God. The baby. How could I forget about them? I call him back.

“Ben?”

“Hey, Tom. No worries about dinner, mate. We went directly to hospital, but it was false labor. You didn’t miss a thing. Sophie is exhausted, but I could really use a drink. Are you still out?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll pick you up.”  
…

“And then, after seeing four different nurses, the doctor finally comes in to tell us that all this pain was just a warm-up. If this was a warm-up, I can’t imagine what the real thing will be like.” Ben shakes his head as he takes another swig of his beer.

“Wow. That’s quite a night.”

“It was. So what did you get up to? Did you finish dinner alone?”

“No actually.” I take a breath, “I met this lovely American girl and her grandmother. They were good company. I even took them up to the Shard.”

Ben scrunches his eyebrows. “Why would you do all that?”

“She was sweet, and it was her grandmother’s birthday. Anyhow,” I take a sip of my drink, “I’m going to see her again.”

“What?”

I grimace. “On Wednesday.”

“Tom you need to reassess your priorities. What are you doing with her? Who is she?”

I’m suddenly self-conscious. “Nobody really. Nobody at all.”

“How do you know that? Have you had her vetted? What if she’s a tabloid reporter trying to worm her way into your life?”

“That’s nonsense. She can’t even read a calendar.” I smile to myself.

“What?”

“Nothing. Nevermind that. She’s definitely not a reporter.”

“Fine then.” It does not seem fine. He’s brooding over his beer.

I sigh. “Listen, you and Sophie were talking earlier about me getting out there and, well, I did. I know it’s a risk, but I have a good feeling about this, about her. My gut was telling me to go for it, and if this date goes terribly then I’ll know I was wrong. But I have to see.”

Ben eyes me, then gulps down the rest of his beer. He wipes his mouth and grins at me. “Fuck it. Go for it.”

**Renee**

When I get inside, I can’t stop smiling. I’m practically bursting. I lay my head against the closed door. I have a date with Tom Hiddleston!

“Renee? What took you so long? Did something happen?” I hear Nicole quickly round the corridor. I turn to look at her questioning face, her good eyebrow raised expectantly.

“Um...well--” She doesn’t let me finish.

“Hold up, hold up! I can tell this is going to be a whole story, let me get some snacks and put on a pot of tea.” She heads to the kitchen and I walk over to the couch.  
. . .

 

“The Shard? The Shard?? He literally just took you on a private tour and asks you on a date?” Nicole has stopped eating her crisps and her tea went cold ages ago when I told her Tom Hiddleston rescued Grandma’s dinner. “You really do have all the luck Renee.”

I blush, “Not really.“

“Shut the fuck up, Renee. This is huge! TOM FRIGGING HIDDLESTON took you on a dinner date--”

“It wasn’t a date--”

“Um, you and Tom had dinner--”

“My grandma was there too!”

“Irrelevant! You had dinner and then he went out of his way to take you to one of the most romantic spots in the city--”

“I don’t think the Shard is that romantic--”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that gazing at the London city lights from high above was so tedious.”

I give a small laugh. “Okay, I guess it was beautiful…”

“Exactly! I mean, wow, Renee. What a dream... Are you going to see each other again?”

I blush again, “Yes...we have a date on Wednesday.”

Her jaw drops. “Oh, NOW you have a date?! A legitimate date?!” She falls back against the couch arm dramatically. “What a life!”

I’m laughing, but then I go cold in an instant.

Nicole notices the change. “What?”

I shift uncomfortably. “I’m so excited and honestly so happy. But, I mean, last year was a nightmare. All that stuff with James...”

She reaches over to grab my hand. “Okay, I guess you’re right. You’ve earned a good turn.”

“I just...I hope this time it’s different.”

Her face softens. “It will be. It’s Tom Hiddleston. He’s already been such a sweetheart.”

“But James was such a good liar. What if--”

“Nope. Nuh uh. Listen, you have every reason to be wary, but let’s just see how Wednesday goes?”

I mull over it but decide she’s right and nod.

Her smile returns. “Besides, I’m sure he’s got a trip to the Eiffel Tower planned and everything.”

**Tom**

I close my umbrella when I enter the bar. Of course it’s raining. But at least I’m not late. Maybe I can’t control the weather, but I can show up embarrassingly early. It’ll be at least half an hour before she arrives.

The hostess leads me to the booth I picked out beforehand. It’s in a quiet corner with a good view of the door and windows, so I won’t miss her coming in. I check my phone, but she hasn’t sent me a text to say she’ll be late. Was the tie too much? I hope it’s not. I’m fidgeting and checking my phone and the window. But then I see her. She’s struggling against the rain, which is coming down sideways now. But she’s here. And she’s beautiful. And I am so excited. I get up to greet her.

. . .

“So how did you end up here?” I ask her.

She glances away from me. “I was going to school here, but I had to take a break in the middle. I only re-enrolled this year.”

“What are you studying?”

“Guess,” she says playfully.

I grin. “Reading Shakespeare by the fire?”

She clears her throat. “I’m sorry, you know, about before. I didn’t mean to come off so…” she trails off.

“Cheeky?” I offer.

“Yeah.” She looks down at her drink.

“I thought it was refreshing.” I reach for her hand on the table. She looks at me for a moment but then freezes. “What’s wrong?”

“I have to go.” She stands abruptly, knocking over her wineglass in the process. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” She looks mortified and moves for the door. I try to follow her, but instead I collide with a waiter and we both stumble. “Wait!” I shout, but she’s gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Renee**

I burst through the door and it is pouring. I take my heels off and start running away from the restaurant--away from him. I hadn’t seen him in over a year, but in an instant all of my fear came flooding back to me. One look from him was all it took to turn my stomach. Panting, I heave as I think of his smirk from across the room. We had managed to avoid one another, until now, until tonight. He could have followed. He might be close even now.

A hand grasps my shoulder and I cry out.

“Renee, it’s just me.” Tom is dripping and his eyes are so full of concern. I break down. He pulls me into an embrace and I cling to him. He doesn't say anything, just holds me in the rain while I sob.

After a minute or two of his thumb rubbing my shoulder he speaks softly. “Hey...my place actually isn’t too far from here. Do you want to come up to my flat? Just to warm up and I can call you a cab.”

I think carefully about it before nodding. “Yes.” He holds me at arm’s length, searching my face for something before he takes off his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders.

He keeps his arm around me as he leads me out of the park. We cross the street toward a brick apartment building. Though it looks older, almost historic on the outside, just inside are marble floors and a doorman.

“Good evening, Earl,” Tom greets the doorman.

“Good ev--oh!” The doorman looked at me and my bare feet.

“Is everything alright?” Tom smiles good naturedly.

“Yes, Earl, this is Renee. She is just in need of some assistance this evening.”

“Right,” Earl says. “If you need anything, you know how to reach me.”

We get in the elevator and wait side by side. I feel like he’s trying to catch my eye, but I stare at my hands instead. I still don’t know how to tell him what happened. Do I even have to tell him at all? I worry all the way to his door.

When we get inside, he turns the lights on and sets his keys down on a nearby high table. Floor lamps give the room a soft light. A handsome brown leather couch takes up the most space in the room, but in the corner, near the fireplace is a wingback chair. The wide paneled walnut floors are softened by an off-white area rug.

I eye the tweed throw blanket on the couch, but before I can ask for it, Tom speaks. “I’ll get you some dry clothes and you can change in my room.”

I follow him into his bedroom. He sets down some clothes on the bed and leaves the room. It’s sparse with only one armoire, a bed and two bedside tables. Altogether the room is cozy, smaller than I think it would be. But then I notice that the bed is throwing the room off. It’s so tall it comes up to my waist. I have to hop a little to sit on it. The shirt he gave me is so soft it seems like cashmere, but when I read the tag it’s cotton. I pause pulling the shirt on because it smells faintly of him. I inhale, but blush. What am I doing? I hurry to get dressed. I try to put the pants on, but stop. This is not going to work. “Scrawny ass,” I mutter to myself. At least the shirt is long enough to hit me mid-thigh.

When I come out of his room in his shirt, he’s lighting the fireplace. He turns to look at me and his silly eyebrows raise slightly, I assume because I’m not wearing any bottoms. He quickly clears his throat. “I thought you could use a little warming up.” I sit on the couch as he heads across the room to the kitchen. “Would you like some tea?”

“Tea?” I laugh.

“Yes, I know how it sounds, but that’s what I have. You caught me. I just wanted to sit in front of the fireplace with a cuppa.” He slips into an exaggerated accent.

I laugh again. “I would love a cuppa.”

He ambles into the kitchen and I admire how lightly he steps. Almost graceful. In the kitchen are two stools at an island. He lights the stove for the kettle and begins pulling down mugs and teas. When he’s finally prepared everything, he sits down beside me, handing me a mug.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he says. “You know that right?”

I sigh, relieved. “But...” he continues, “I do want to know if you're in any danger.”

I look down and around--anywhere but at him.

“Please.” He touches a finger to my chin so I look at him and his worried, intensely blue eyes. “I-I just need to-. I would just want to know if I could help you, you know, make sure you’re safe.”

I clear my throat. “I'm okay. I think.”

His eyebrows press together. So concerned. They look like they are going to slide right off his face. I raise my thumb to smooth the crease between them. He takes my hand and we smile at each other. I find myself in a moment where I forget about how we got here. But reality slips back in.

I take a breath. “I just..saw someone...it was unexpected. It was an overreaction, really. I didn't need to ruin this date.”

“Of course not, Renee. I'm just...I have to admit I'm just a bit worried about you. I wonder what could make you run off like that and--” he sighs. “I'm sorry I don't mean to pry. I just want to make sure your okay.”

My chest warms from his earnestness. “Yes, I am. I am now, at least.”

He looks at me.

“Thank you,” I say, softly.

Our eyes lock again and I can feel the electricity in the air.

My breathing grows a little shallow. “Tom…” I start.

“Renee…” he murmurs.

I adjust myself to turn a bit towards him.

“Renee” he says again, but this time his face is scrunched as if he’s conflicted. “I...I really don't want to take advantage you when you are clearly distressed...but I would really like to kiss you.”

I nod, “I would really like to kiss you, too.”

He smiles lightly and comes closer to me, and I'm suddenly aware of every inch of my body. I expect him to straight lean in for the kiss, maybe put his hands on my face. But no, instead he picks up my left hand. Our palms touch as our fingers entwine. Such an innocent move but my breathing tightens. He brings our hands to his mouth and he puts his lips against my hand. I shiver a bit. He releases my hand to kiss my palm. I hold my breath. With his lips on my palm he takes his fingers and lightly traces them up my wrist, my forearm. The tingly sensation is enough to make me release a soft sigh. His eyes looks up at me and I'm sure he can see the anticipation on my face. And I can see it in his eyes as well. Finally, he leans forward. His lips stop an inch before mine. We breathe each other in, and I notice that his breath is just as shallow as mine. His fingers caress the curls at the nape of my neck. I'm lost to the ministrations of his fingers. At that his lips touch mine. I reach my hands to his neck. He relaxes into my touch.

 

...

 

“ _Woah_.”

His heavy breathing mimics mine. “My sentiments exactly.”

He caresses my cheek with his thumb. My stomach is in knots from giddiness of our pretty intense kissing.

“Um,” I swallow. “Could we, maybe take a break?”

“Oh, of course! Yes, sorry, that was very forward of me, clearly you’d want some space.” He drops his hands to mine, but I squeeze his before he can release. “Would-- would you want me to call you a cab? Or...if you want, you can stay, we could watch a film, I have many, and even then Netflix…”

I raise my eyebrow. “Are you saying you want to Netflix and chill?”

He blushes. “No, no, no, Just Netflix, of course.”

I laugh a little. “It’s okay Hiddleston. I believe your intentions are pure. And yes, I would enjoy a movie.”

He laughs, too. “Excellent. I actually have a large collection.”

“You?” I tease. “Have a collection of movies? I never would have guessed.” I laugh. “Are you in all of them, too?”

“God no, I can’t stand to watch my own films. Is that what you think I do when I’m alone?” He covers his eyes. “I couldn’t bear it.”

“Seriously? You don’t own any of them?”

“Well, no, I do. But I’m not sure they are out of the shrink wrap to be honest.”

“When was the last time you saw _Archipelago_?” I ask.

“ _Archipelago_? You’ve heard of it?” He seems shocked.

“I’ve seen it, a couple times actually.”

“Really?” he says, disbelieving.

“Yes, it was one of those movies that really stuck with me... But you should pick a movie though, I still have a closing shift at Magnus’ tomorrow.”

In the end we choose the BBC Sense and Sensibility. After he puts it on, I nestle against his shoulder. The whole length of our sides are pressed together and I try to stifle the smile that won’t stop. The movie is on and I’m looking toward it, but really all my energy is focused on my peripheral vision, so I can watch him glance at me. I know neither of us really hear a word that was said on-screen. His hand is palm up on his leg, inviting me, and I slowly trace my fingers on his palm. Finally entangling them, I close my eyes and let the movie play on.

At some point I must have fallen asleep, because when I next open my eyes, the credits are rolling. I stir.

“I wasn’t sure if I should wake you. I know I said I’d call you a cab, but you could stay the night. I mean, if you like.”

I nod against his shoulder. Before I can stand, he does and he lifts me right off of the couch. Startled, I can’t even protest as he carries me to his room. He deposits me on the bed, under the covers and kisses me gently on the forehead.

 

…

 

I’m awakened by a soft light pooling in from the window. I’m so comfortable. Why should I ever move? This mattress is so plush...Wait-- I sit up. The whole night suddenly comes back to me. I’m in a man’s bed--a famous man’s bed. But, where is he? Tom isn’t beside me on the bed. I feel a bit of relief, but also a small tug of disappointment. I shake that off and slide off the obnoxiously tall bed. I look at my watch. 6:45am. It’s early, but now that I know where I am, I’m not going to be able to fall back to sleep. Quietly, I leave the bedroom is search of my host.

It doesn’t take me long to find him, his long frame is draped on the couch. I feel a little bit bad--but only a little, that bed was comfy as fuck. I approach him, deciding that yes, I am going to be a little bit creepy and watch him sleep for a moment. His face is serene. His eyebrows look perfectly in place. I want to reach out and push his hair back, but hold myself.

I hear a ding. I turn around to see his phone light up from a new message. I wouldn’t have looked--I really wouldn’t have--but from the quick glance over, one word stuck out: “Baby.”

Who’s calling him baby??

I lean over to look at the message. It’s from some woman named Lisa.

_Hey, baby you didn’t come over last night_

Another message pops up:

_I missed you… ;)_

My heart drops into the pit of my stomach. My breath feels constricted. Without thinking, I go to Tom’s dryer where he put my clothes. I have to get out of here. Now. Without a word I throw his shirt on the floor and put my dress on. I tiptoe across the room and put my shoes on only after I’ve closed the door. I’m all the way downstairs before I realize I’ve left my phone! Fuck it. I don’t care, not today. Luckily, I still have my wallet and I catch a cab back to my flat. I look like a mess. I hope Nicole isn’t home. I don’t have the energy to explain all this.

When I get inside, I’m relieved to see her shoes are gone. I’m safe--for now. I log in to Facebook on my computer to send her a message so she doesn’t think I’ve been murdered. I take a shower to try to scrub this sick feeling away.

How could I be so stupid? It was just a date. Of course it didn’t mean anything--of course I didn’t mean anything.


	4. Chapter 4

**Tom**

I wake to the sound of a gentle click. Stretching my arms over my head, I sit up, a little foggy as to why I’m on the couch. Then it hits me: _Renee._

Just thinking her name brings a smile to my face. I get up to go check on her, presuming that she is probably still asleep. When I get to my bedroom though, she’s not there. I turn around and look at the bathroom door. It’s open, so she isn’t in there.

“Renee?” I call out. _She wouldn’t have left, would she?_

Checking each room as I go, I end up in the laundry room. The dryer door was askew and the clothes I let her borrow are scattered carelessly on the floor.

“What…” I think aloud. _Why would she leave? And in a rush, it seems?_

I go back over to the living room and look at the front door. I suppose that she maybe felt a little overwhelmed by everything last night. “I hope I didn’t make her uncomfortable…” the thought gnaws at me for a moment. I decide to send her a text.

I pick up my phone from the coffee table and unlock it to see two unopened messages and my stomach drops.

They’re from Lisa. I groan. She did mention a party she was hosting last night. “Baby”...I never return her pet names, but I suppose I’ve never told her to not call me them...but maybe I will now that I’m interested in Renee.

I ignore Lisa and text Renee:

_Good morning :) I’m sorry I missed you, but I hope you got home alright_

I press send.

And hear a ding from my bedroom.

“What?”

I go to my bedroom and call her. The sheets ring.

I pull Renee’s phone out from the mess of the duvet. _She left her phone here?_ How odd.

 

**Renee**

“Renee, did you shelve the new atlases?”

“Oh, right. Will do.”

I pick myself up from the front desk chair. I have been lost in my thoughts. I continue to run the details of last night in my head over and over...the terrible intrusion at dinner, but then the feeling of safety and then giddiness, the kiss…

And the minute feeling of betrayal.

I groan and move to stack the atlases.

Ugh and my _phone_. I still have no clue how I am going to get that back aside from going back to his place. But that is out of the question, I don’t have the strength to explain my quick exit or to be embarrassed. Maybe I’ll just get a new phone. What’s an extra hundred quid?  

“Renee?”

I drop the now-empty box. _What??_ I whip around. Sure enough, there’s Tom, soft eyebrows raised and that little crooked smile. He looks stunning. He takes off his sunglasses and he’s wearing this blue button up that matches his eyes and I hate myself for noticing. How dare he look so good when I’m wearing a nametag on my polo. He looks so at ease, like this is the only place he needs to be today. I grimace.

“What are you doing here?”

He frowns a bit. “You mentioned you had a closing shift yesterday, and I didn’t know how else to reach you. You left your phone.” He reaches in his pants pocket and pulls out my phone. He hands it to me.

“Oh…” my heart melts a little at the thoughtfulness. But then I remember the texts. I clear my throat as I take my phone. “Well, thank you.”

I turn around at get back to stacking the atlases.

“Renee?”

“Hm?” I don’t look at him.

“Is something wrong?”

 _Ugh, how dare he sound so concerned and considerate._ I keep my back turned to him so I can rush through the hard part without looking at his stupid eyebrows. “Listen, Tom, I had a good time last night. But I realize that you’re a busy man with a lot of people in your life. _I’ve_ been around the block a few times and I know when I’m just sort of secondary. And if that’s what _you’re_ looking for that's fine. But I’m moving on from that period in my life, so maybe it’s best if we leave it at that.”

 

**Tom**

_What is she talking about?_ I can feel myself getting angry, indignant even and I try to find some reason she would be saying this all to me—and so coldly.

Then it dawns on me. _Lisa_.

“Renee, did you look at my phone this morning?”

I can see her profile redden.

“Oh, I see. You thought just because of some other woman texts me ‘baby’ that I’m sleeping around?” I say with maybe a little too much bite.

She finally looks at me. “ _How can I not?”_ As embarrassed as she was a moment a go, she seems more ready to fight me than to cry.

A man suddenly appears in the stacks with us. “Is everything alright, Renee?”

Renee looks sheepish. “Yes, Gary. I’m so sorry. I’m just finishing up here.”

I can feel Gary looking at me, probably not convinced. But I don’t turn towards him, not wanting to be recognized right now.

“Okay then...well you can throw those boxes out when you’re done.” Gary leaves.

Neither of us say anything as she finishes stacking her books. Once she’s finished, she takes her two boxes and proceeds to exit in the back. I follow her.

“Renee, I—I’m sorry. For snapping at you. I just—" I run my hands through my hair. "Why didn’t you just ask me this morning?”

She’s angrily breaking apart the cardboard boxes. “Because _Tom_ , I didn’t want to be embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed by what?”

She keeps folding, but I notice her hands a shaking a tiny bit. “Renee…” I say softly.

“Don’t.” Her voice trembles. She stops moving. “I just...I had an amazing time last night. But I didn’t want to hear that it didn’t mean anything to you. So, I just left. I’m sorry if it was rude, but I didn’t want to...to get hurt." 

“Of course it meant something to me. I was looking forward to breakfast with you and you were just gone. Not even a note. I didn’t know what to think.”

She’s still not looking at me. I can tell she doesn’t believe me.

“Renee, may I touch you?”

She doesn’t say anything, but she nods. I take a step closer to her and I softly turn her towards me so that she’s finally looking at me. There’s a vulnerability in her eyes.

“I understand why you left. I suppose I can see how it looked to you. But I wanted to be with _you_ last night. I couldn’t have been happier than when you were there.”

Her bottom lip trembles. Our eyes are locked and I can’t help but to lean in. Our lips touch again and my heart picks up its pace.

She leans into me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Renee**

“And what did he say??” Nicole plops down on my bed as I fold my laundry.

“Well, he claims that he doesn’t know her like that...or that he isn’t sleeping with her...currently,” I say a little sheepishly.

Nicole raises a good eyebrow, not the bad one; she never raises the bad eyebrow (she hides it in shame under bangs). “Hm. And do you buy that?”

I continue folding laundry. “Erm. I mean. I guess I do? Does that make me stupid?”

“Of course not.” Nicole smiles kindly. “From everything you’ve said he seems very genuine.”

“He is very sincere...” I look up, “and he said he wants to take me to a party this weekend. A real party of, like, some music producer or something.” I use my best phony British accent, “I think it’s going to be rather posh.”

Nicole laughs. “Just, you know. Do what every human being does ‘Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.'”

“He said I could bring a friend so I’d feel more comfortable. Do you want to come too?”

Nicole’s jaw drops. “Of course!” She jumps off the bed, full of energy. “It’s going to be _so_ major. I’m going to snag some sort of footballer—ooh! Or an actress.” She stares off dreamily. “Do you reckon Tessa Thompson would fancy me?”

“Oh! But I didn’t tell you the worst part—Gary came back and saw me and Tom, and it was so embarrassing I could have died. In fact, I think I did.”

“Don’t worry. If you and Tom go at it at this party, I’ll be sure to keep the oglers away.”

“Good to know.”

She gasps. “What are you going to wear?”

I collapse on the bed. “Ugh, I don’t know. What will you wear?”

“Oh, I have something nice I’ve been saving for a night like this.”

“What?” I sit up. “What do you mean??”

Nicole waggles her eyebrow, but not the bad one (never the bad one). She gets up and goes to her room only to return with one of the most stunningly hideous dresses I’ve seen her hold yet. I can’t tell her how ugly it is. I just can’t express it in words. “Where do you get these outfits???” I try to disguise my disgust with feigned awe.

“From that nice lady, you know, the one with the sweet kids? But actually, what are you supposed to do? You don’t have the money to afford the wardrobe of a famous man’s girlfriend. I think you’ll just have to call the whole thing off.”

I snort. “Thanks for the optimism.”

“I’m only joking, of course. But we’ll figure something out. When is the party?”

“Tomorrow at midnight.”

“Midnight?” Nicole whistles. “The rich bastards like it late.”

 

**Tom**

The limo pulls up to Renee’s flat. It’s quaint. Uni students meander through the streets looking youthful and drunk. Looking up to the stairs, I see Renee descend in a sapphire blue sleeveless jumpsuit. She’s stunning. Her hair frames her face in a halo of curls. Right behind her is another young woman who is wearing a quirky angularly cut...dress? Nothing is indecent about it, but it strikes me as a bit odd. But perhaps it works. I turn my attention back to Renee where I don't have to contemplate fashion.

She approaches me. “Limo, huh? Must be some party.”

I chuckle. “You always find a way to expose my insecurities.” I step out of the car to open the door for them.

She shrugs, but her cheeks are slightly flushed. “This is my good friend Nicole.”

I take Nicole’s hand. “Enchante.” She snorts. “You too really are birds of a feather.”

Renee slides in. “Wow! Is all this for us?” She gestures to the mini-bar. I already had champagne poured for them.

“I thought champagne was appropriate, but if you’d prefer something else—”

“You weren’t kidding, Renee,” Nicole cuts in. “His manners really are impeccable.”

They both grab the glasses and we toast to a night to remember.

 

**Renee**

We pull up to a modern whitewashed house with a winding driveway. There are so many people. I feel lightheaded and realize I’ve been holding my breath. Tom catches my eye and reaches over to grab my hand. Nicole looks excitedly out the window.

We finally get out and I feel like I can breathe again. There is music pumping through to the outdoors and I hear people splashing in a pool somewhere. Inside is just as immaculate as the outside suggests. We’re greeted near the door by Benedict Cumberbatch and I try to disguise my gasp.

“Thomas!” Benedict exclaims. “I’m so glad you could make it. It’s hardly a party without you.” He winks. “And who’s this?”

Tom touches a hand to my back. “Ben, this is Renee and that is Nicole.”

“Good to meet you!” Nicole shakes his hand enthusiastically. “Where’s the dance floor?” she asks.

“A woman after my own heart. This way.” Ben takes her arm and leads her toward the music.

Following her, Tom asks, “Where’s the host?”

“Matthew’s around here somewhere. Maybe upstairs?”

“I’ll dance with Nicole,” I say. “Go find your friend. We’ll be good for a minute without you.” Tom shrugs good-naturedly.

“He’ll find me eventually. Let’s dance.” He takes my hand and spins me into his arms. My cheeks flush as we press together.

“I’m glad I had that champagne,” I mutter against his chest.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothing,” I say, kissing his cheek.

“Let’s do it!” He leads me to the floor into an easy-to-follow quick step. People on all sides are packed in so no one is looking as us and I can actually have some fun. Over Tom’s shoulder I see Nicole begin to dance. She loves to do it, but her dancing is worse than her dress. I can see people watching her as she clears a space with her wide sweeping arms. She’s only getting started. Unwittingly, she slaps Ben with her hair as she attempts a very intense body roll. Smiling, he pulls back and moves closer to us.

“Is she always this...energetic?”

“Always. Isn’t it great? Anyone can dance next to her. She’s the life of the party.” Even if it isn’t always safe…

Tom presses his hand against my lower back and changes up our dance. We’re so close, I can’t even look at him. I try to concentrate on my steps, but he leans down to my ear, “Don’t think so hard. You’re doing great.”

I grimace. He puts his lips back to my ear and nips it. I can’t help my grin as I bat at his chest.

“Behave or I won’t go out with you again.”

 

**Tom**

Nicole pops over to us. “Renee, I’m going to try to find the bathroom.”

“Oh, I’ll go with you,” Renee says.

“Should I show you the way?” I offer.

“No, no, we’ve got it.”

I feel a clap on my shoulder. “Maurice!” We embrace. I haven’t seen him since his pilot wrapped last month.

“Where have you been, Tom? It’s been ages.”

“Ages and ages,” I agree.

“You two should catch up,” Renee tells me. “Nicole and I will do a little bit of exploring. We’ll find you later.”

“Text me?”

“Of course.” She turns away to head down the hall.

“Who was that?” Maurice nudges me.

“That’s my date, Renee.” I smile as I watch her walk away.

“Well you should see my date.” I raise an eyebrow.

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“Luck, indeed. Let me show you.” He leads me to a sunken room with a poker table.

My chest tightens. “Oh, I really shouldn’t.”

“When’s the last time you played a hand?”

“A while ago—”

“If you don’t keep in practice you’ll get rusty!” he says, pulling me toward the poker chips. I glance back to see if I can catch sight of Ben or Renee, but I can’t. Changing cash for chips I sit down next to Maurice. I can already feel my hands itching to make a play.

“Just one game,” I say, as I turn my phone face down.


	6. Chapter 6

Renee

 

I’m looking at my reflection in the ornate mirror in the hallway as Nicole comes out of the bathroom.

She lets out a low whistle. “Can you believe how nice this place is?”

I laugh a little. “Honestly, though. Did you see the chandelier in the bathroom?”

“How could I miss it?”

She joins me at the mirror and reapplies some lipstick.

“What if we go on a little tour?” Nicole suggests, “You know, like we could afford something like this. I mean--you might eventually if you keep dating movie stars.” She winks at me.

I laugh and flip my hair jokingly. “Oh indeed, let’s take a stroll around the premises.”

We start down the hallway peering into every unlocked room, counting every bathroom. I’ve never been anywhere so luxurious. As I drink in all the little details of design in this decadent home, I’m practically overcome with awe. I want to remember every moment of this.

“Damn, Renee, you should put some of this in your writing--the up and close of the rich and wealthy.” Nicole says as she takes a picture of an immaculate studio space.

“Hmm, you’re right…” I haven’t even thought about writing in the past couple of days. The thought concerns me, but I shove it aside.

We’ve counted eight bathrooms, when we find we’ve circled the upper floor. There’s one more room that’s slightly ajar with another polished silver handle.

Nicole begins to push open the door. “I’m surprised with all these rooms we haven’t found people—”

She’s cut off by the clear sounds of sex coming from the corner of the room. I try to avert my eyes, but I can’t do it before I see a pale moon arse.

“Well I guess that’s enough of the upstairs. Maybe to the pool?” We hurry down the stairs laughing and stop at the french doors leading outside. I’m clenching my sides as Nicole wipes away a tear.

Before we even take a step outside, Nicole gasps. “Is that Tessa Thompson?” she whispers. “Holy shit, that’s totally her!”

Before I can stop her, she dashes out the door making a beeline straight for her. I’m not going to watch her hit on an actor; I head out back in the other direction.

So many rich and famous people are chatting, drinking by the pool.  I feel at ease for once and still giddy, not quite believing this night is real. I continue my walk around the back of the house wondering if there is a garden. There isn’t much, but I find a cute little tree swing—that honestly seems a bit quaint for this place. But I welcome it nonetheless and take a seat. I give myself a little push, and rock back and forth. I close my eyes, feeling weightless.

“Renee, how lovely to see you.”

I plant my feet on the ground and freeze. My eyes widen at the voice from behind me. The perspiration on the back of my neck turns cold.

I feel a hand touch my back. I jump up and away but finally face him. “Matthew, what are you doing here?”

“Come now, we’re old friends. Why such a cold reception?” he asks in a mocking tone.

“Are you following me?” I reach for my phone in my purse.

He laughs. “Oh please, Renee, I have more interesting things to do with my time than follow you around. I’m the host,” he opens his arms gesturing to the yard and the house beyond it. “This is my home.”

My stomach drops. I remember Tom had asked after Matthew. Were they friends?

“I have to go.” I attempt to move around him, but he steps in front of me.

“Surely you wouldn’t leave before giving your host a kiss.”

I feel my stomach churn. “Listen, asshole, I have people waiting for me.”

He feigns offense. “Oh wow, Renee. So rude. Jasper would not pleased. Don’t think I won’t tell him about this.”

“Don’t tell him I’m here.” Then I curse to myself. Matthew doesn’t give a damn, why would I ask anything of him?

“I could be persuaded to hold my tongue...if you were so inclined to spend a little more time with me. You look stunning tonight.” He steps forward and lays a hand on my hip.

I stomp on his instep.

He lets out a cry and buckles over. I take my chance and all but run back inside. Once I reach the safety of the music, I press myself against a wall.

I see Nicole. She must have seen me run in because her face is masked with concern.

“Renee? Renee, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

She holds my shoulders and at her worried look, tears prick at the corner of my eyes.

“I—I—” I can’t finish a thought.

She understands that. “Do you want to go?”

I nod.

“Okay, let me find Tom.”

I grab her hand. “Wait—”

She raises her good eyebrow.

I mull over it. It worries me that Tom knows Matthew, but I tell myself that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I realize I want Tom here with me.

“Yes,” I croak out. “Go get Tom.”

 

Tom

 

I’m up. I have a straight flush and there’s a good chance I’ll win with this hand. We’re waiting for the last man to place a bet when someone at the door turns Maurice’s attention.

“Just a minute, love.”

I’m still watching Jesse. He’s got a good face, but I’m almost sure he’s bluffing. He’s down to his last chips, and he didn’t have that many to start with when I entered. Maurice is still saying something, but it doesn’t matter much until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I finally look away. It’s Nicole.

“Tom, we have to leave.”

“Now? I’m in the middle of a hand.” She gives me a hard look.

“Now.”

Defeated, I stand wondering what could possibly be so pressing. She leads me quickly outside and I spot Renee. When I see her face, I move faster.

“What’s going on?” I ask. What little composure she had crumbles. I put my hands on her face and thumb her tears away. She doesn’t look hurt. Aside from the steady stream of tears. I fold her into my arms. “Let’s go.” As I lead us back through the house to the door, I finally see Matthew.

“Lovely party, Matty, but I’m afraid I must be going. My date isn’t feeling so well.”

“What a pity! I hope you feel better soon, love.” Renee flinches. I shrug my shoulders apologetically and call the driver.

~

The car ride back to Renee’s apartment is quiet. I start to ask what happened more than once, but Nicole keeps glaring at me and Renee keeps starting then stopping until finally I take the hint and sit out the uncomfortable silence. I try to wrack my brain with what might have happened. Perhaps she has a family emergency? Maybe she had a panic attack? I really can’t think what could have happened in so little time. I couldn’t have been gone for more than half an hour? Although I don’t remember checking the time when I started playing...maybe it was longer? Hopefully not much more than an hour. I shouldn’t have left her alone so long. Even with Nicole. What was I thinking? I shouldn’t have gotten so many chips…

The cheer that was there on the journey to the party has dissipated and been replaced with something more sorrowful.

When the limo parks, I hop out to open the door. But Nicole is already out, walking up the steps to their flat. Renee slowly follows behind her.

I clear my throat. “Renee?”

She turns. “Yes?”

“I, well.” I close the distance between us to look into her eyes, beautiful but glossed with old tears. “Are you alright? I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but…” She sniffles. What could have upset set her so? “Did something…” My words got stuck in my throat. No one would have hurt her, would they?

I can see her weighing something in her head. “Tom—”

“Renee, let’s go inside.” I hear Nicole say.

I look at Nicole. Suddenly, it’s apparent to me that she looks a little put off.

“I’ll meet you up there?” Renee responds.

Nicole shifts on her feet. “Renee, I think it’s best if you come inside now.”

Renee frowns, as do I. _What’s up with her?_

“Well…I’ll let you go.” I say and Renee looks back at me. “But if you need anything, anything at all, please call me.”

The corners of her mouth turn up a bit. “Okay,” she says softly.

She turns away before I can even kiss her goodbye and follows Nicole inside.

I turn back to the limo and slowly walk towards it. I’m still lost in thought when I hear the front door open.

“Renee?” I turn, but it isn’t Renee. It’s Nicole. And she looks furious.

“Listen here, punk.” _Punk?_ “I know you think you’re hot shit. And that you’re time is, like, important or whatever, but you better act like you know how important Renee is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You left us for, like, more than an hour—”

“I know, and I’m terribly sorry, I just—”

“—And when I tried to tell you what was up—you didn’t get it. You were too wrapped up in your card game with your mates. But you need to get it, okay? Renee is  strong, but you need to be there for her and responsive _especially_ when you’re dragging her out to exotic places with wacko famous people, okay? Get your shit together. Capice?”

My jaw had dropped a bit. _Where is she from?_

I close my mouth and swallow. I think back to that moment when she tried to pull me away from the card table. I was so focused on the cards that I didn’t even know she was there. “You’re right. I was too caught up in myself. And neither you nor Renee deserve that.”

“She may think you’re great, but I’ve got my eye on you. You better make this up to her.” Before I can respond, she turns on her heel and stalks back up the stairs leaving me alone with my shame. My phone buzzes. I look at it to see a text from Benny—but I also see two unread texts from Renee. Sent over an hour ago.

_Nicole is looking for you._

_I need you._

I close my eyes, disgusted with myself. “Fuck.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Renee**

 

“What was that about?” I eye Nicole as she walks in. 

“I thought I left my phone in the car—but it was right here.” She shrugs. “Are you feeling alright? Do you want to use one of my bath bombs?” 

“God, yes. How did you know?” She folds me into a hug before leaving me to my bath.

After a good scrub and a little cry, I’m ready to talk. I plop down on her bed in my bathrobe. 

“So tonight…” I start.

“I shouldn’t have run off like that!” She cries out.

“No, no it was Tessa Thompson—I get it. I might have done the same thing, but so… I found a swing and things were good." I pause. "But Matthew found me.”

“I don’t understand—Matthew the host?”

“No—well, yes. But it was  _ Matthew. _ ”

“Matthew?” Realization dawns on her. “Like  _ Jasper’s  _ friend?”

“Exactly. So he found me and he said he was going to tell Jasper I was there—”

“Jasper was at that party? We were all over the place how did we not notice him??”

“I don’t know. But then Matthew started being creepy, like he wouldn’t tell Jasper if I would...spend some time with him.”

“No—” she gasps.

“Yeah, so I got out of there as fast as I could.”

“He didn’t touch you did he?”

“He just put his hand on my hip...but what if he does tell Jasper?” My voice shakes.

“He won’t.” 

“But he could.”

“I won’t let them do a thing to you.” she says fiercely. 

“But you can’t help me either—no one can…” I start to tear up. “And he could be anywhere. He knows so many people… He could find out about this apartment… Or where I work… Or anything.” I begin to sob. “It’s a miracle he isn’t already here.”

“Shh.” She pulls me into her and rubs my back. “He won’t find out anything. Matthew wouldn’t even know where to begin to look.”

“But he might.”

“What do you mean?”

“What if,” I chew my lip. “Do you think he and Tom are...friends?”

Nicole frowns. I can see her think it over.

“If they are,” she says carefully, “Tom wouldn’t ever  _ intentionally _ hurt you.”

I decide to ignore her emphasis on the word intentionally. Does that mean she thinks he would hurt me—even unintentionally? “What should I do?”

She swallows. “I’m not sure.”

“Maybe I should tell Tom?”

Nicole stiffens. 

“What? You don’t think so?”

“I think, you should just be careful. Maybe just see how close they are at first.”

I nod and my eyes drift shut from exhaustion. Before I know it, I fall asleep curled against her.

**Tom**

 

I’m flipping through another script trying to get my mind off the night before. It’s for a Chinese commercial for Centrum Vitamins? The whole had seems a little silly, but maybe that’s what the people want.

I toss the script on the coffee table and tilt my head back. I can’t stop thinking of Renee. 

_ Why didn’t I stay with her? I should have never gone to that damn table. The thrill wasn’t worth what came after…and I hardly even played. Renee deserves better than this.  _

A knock at the door brings me back from my darker thoughts.

I open my door and am surprised to see Matthew.

“Matty, hello! Come in.”

Matthew smoothly enters my apartment. There’s always something about him that’s a bit slick. “My apologies for popping by unannounced, but I figured you would want this back.” He holds up my brown leather wallet.

“Oh!” I take the wallet back, flipping it open to see my ID Inside. “Wow, thank you. I must of left it in the den.” I didn’t even realize it was missing, though we had left in such a rush.

As if reading my thoughts, Matthew says, “Yes, well you left in such a hurry it’s no wonder you’d leave something behind. Couldn’t seem to get out fast enough.” He flashes me a grin.

I chuckle sheepishly. “Ah, well. My date wasn’t feeling well.”

“I hope she’s alright.” Matthew cocks his head. “How is Renee doing?”

I pause for a moment. “She’s better...” I never told Matthew her name… But maybe Ben did?

“Has her writing been coming along? I told her I could send it out to someone who might actually look at it.”

“What?”

“She didn’t mention me?” He smiles again and my palms itch.

“No, she didn’t…”

“Oh, we go way back. She used to date a friend of mine.” He circles the island around to me. “That was a long time ago, though. Nothing to worry about, chap.” he says, clapping me on the shoulder. “Anyway, I must be off. Thanks again for coming to the party.” Dumbstruck I watch him leave, too shocked to even say goodbye.

 

Renee

 

It’s a busy day at the library and some school group is going into the children’s room for story time. I came here for some background noise to write to, but nothing’s really coming to me. I’m starting and stopping little scenes that go nowhere. I think the party is still too fresh. It’ll take couple of days before I’m ready to really say anything about it, I guess. I check the time for the third time in an hour and see a message from Tom.

__ —Are you working? _ _

_ —Not really. I’m just at the library. _

_ —Are you up for a walk then? _

 

I think about it. A piece of me is worried...something about Nicole’s concerns about Tom are increasing my anxieties about him too. Especially in relation to Matthew. But I suppose there’s only one way to find out. 

I also (maybe) miss him.

__ —Sure. I’m at the library rn. _ _

_ —See you in 20 _

 

 


End file.
